The Gay Bro Code: Duties of Being a Wingman
The Gay Bro Code:
1) Loyalty to your bro at all times above all. If you promise something you must keep the promise.
Always.
2) Anytime it is requested that you wingman, you are obligated and required. However, you can only be
asked to do this once a week, unless you owe favors.
3) When playing the role of a wingman you cannot fail. The wingman job is very important. (more on the
all important wingman duties and obligations HERE)
4) It is your duty to prevent ugly or embarrassing tricks. The exception being a totally sober bro
explaining why he is doing it. Then you are off the hook for any responsibility.
5) Keep the family out of it- no hook ups with a bro’s relatives (close straight friends included unless
cleared well in advance).
6) You are always expected to give an honest opinion of your bro’s latest trick, date, interest….
7) Never let your bro be stranded. You are always available to offer a ride. Never let a bro drive drunksteal
keys if you must.
8) We’ve had enough shame growing up. Never shame another bro. Make excuses for a bro for
misfortunes like ugly tricks. i.e. “It was late- it was dark, you were drunk”
9) Never steal your bro’s thunder. If you do it will make you both look bad.
10)A bro will never make another bro look bad or embarrass him in front of a date, a target, his ex,
colleagues or even stranger. Your wingman should make sure this never happens- and if it does the
offending bro must be confronted and punished by your circle of bros.
11) One may join your inner bro circle if there is general consensus after discussion with the bros.
12) Tricks and newbies should never be told of the bro code list. They may be treated as a bro, but until
inducted into your circle they should never know that a set of rules exists. If they need to be talked to,
inform them that it is just “common courtesy and respect.”
13) Any private, privileged, or special information a bro shares with you should be kept between you,
unless the bro says forward or share this. This ranges from info on a person to bootleg copies of a new
movie.
14) A bro will never allow another bro to drunk dial or text an ex or target. No exceptions to this rule.
When a bro is truly intoxicated, depressed, or not fit to think properly, the phone will be confiscated until
a sober state of mind is achieved.
15) If anyone, especially the bro’s date/trick/ex calls you and asks about a bros actions the previous night,
you know nothing until you’ve talked to your bro. If there is a story involved, (I.e. the bro claimed to be
sleeping at a friend’s house) you will always go along with his story, and you may even claim he is still
there.
16) You will always make excuses for a bros actions, no matter how obscene. All things done by a drunk
bro must be forgiven. No exceptions.
17) A bro should always be allowed to make amends for his actions.
18) A bro will always give his bro’s friend a ride to wherever, so long as restitutions are made for the
action.
19) A bro will always give details when describing a sexual encounter- but not personal information. Keep
the details about the other party. These details are never to be shared with anyone outside of the bro
circle.
20) Bro’s never reveal any information about a bro’s sexual or dating history with anyone beyond the bro
circle. This includes who they have hooked up with, or how many.
21) A bro will always do his best to help another bro’s self esteem. The Alpha-Bro should always be
handing out the wisdom and power of his skill. A bro will always recognize the master seducer of the
group. It is expected to seek advice from the Alpha-Bro.
22) A bro should never ever under any circumstances hookup with a bro’s ex or date. A bro should never
hookup with another bro’s one-night-stand-trick within 2 months, and never without prior permission.
23) A bro may proceed to make moves on another bro’s failed target ONLY after it is verbally admitted he
was rejected, AND only after asking permission first. If the bro declines your invitation to bust some
moves, you must adhere to his wishes and find a new target.
24) If permission for rule 23 has been given by a bro, and success is evident for yourself. One must
always put it down to it being the target’s preference and not due to your superior abilities. If a bro
proceeds to become hurt about your success where he failed, you are under no obligations to make
him feel better or apologize for your success.
25) A bro will always tell a bro what he did when he was blacked out. No matter how bad.
26) A bro must always maintain a safe physical distance from a bro’s trick or date, especially when
drinking. Physical contact may only be made with a bro’s date, when saying good bye. No exceptions.
27) A bro will always do his best to stop a bro from getting tattoos. A bro’s skin is the largest organ he has
and the second most important. Especially if the tattoo is of a partner. Tricks will dump you and play
with your heart, but a bro will protect you like his own private parts.
28) The way of the bro is sacred, cherish it like a sect or cult. The bro life is like being in Jedi training
camp. You must always show your bro love and be joyous when bro love is shown to you.
29) Bro-dating and bro-mance is prohibited. You must analyze your Bro-mance should someone
comment or ask if you and a close bro are dating. If it appears you are then you are appearing to be
too close. If things develop and you two decide to be dating then you must respectfully change your
status in the Bro-circle to ‘abstainer’ and special Bro advisors. Dating bros shall be off the market and
not pursuing targets.
30) Always respect a bro’s viewpoints about anything from politics to cars to religion. The only time a
bro’s views do not matter is when they conflict with the bro code. If such a case should happen, the
bro should be immediately evicted from the bro circle, until correctional actions have been made.
31) A bro should always treat for food when a bro is broke. Signs that a bro is broke are phrases like, “I’d
rather eat at home”, “I’m not hungry”, “I just ate”, and finally “I’m trying to save money so ill eat at
home.”
32) A good bro will always encourage his bros to be an Alpha-Bro when it comes to talking to targets. If
necessary, demonstrations of your prowess may be made to give your bros something to work with.
33) A bro may be denied further access to alcohol when it is obvious he has drunk too much already.
Bros agree to respect & trust the input of their sober bros.
34) All things must be forgiven among bros, with the exception being your drunk bro hitting on, hooking
up with your date, ex, or relative. This allows for an immediate punishment, such as a punch to the
face, but only after all other bros have been told and are gathered to watch the punishment. Before
the blow is delivered, your drunk bro must have the situation explained to him. Because he is drunk,
he will probably agree that he needs to be punched.
35) Under no circumstances should a bro ever be hit in the genitals for any reason. EVER!
36) You should only ever make fun of a bro for minor things that don’t affect their physical attributes.
Example, damn man you got really goofy shoes. The exception is for something that doesn’t exist,
example; making fun of your friend for having man-boobs when he clearly doesn’t.
37) A bro doesn’t clock block another bro for any reason whatsoever. EVER. The only time that
cockblocking is condoned by the bro code is when the designated cockblocker (aka the bombardier)
has viable reasons to stop a bro from hooking up.
38) When on the prowl, Dibs can’t be implied. You must call dibs in front of witnesses for the dibs to be
valid with your bros. At the time of the dibs calling, the bros must speak up then if there is any
objection such as a prior connection with a bro. Any known information on the target subject to dibs
must also be openly shared at this time.
39) Subject to the rules on dibs, a bro can only object to the dibs in one of the following instances:
i. he has been actively talking to the target that evening, ii. he had planned to meet that target that
evening, iii. he had been on more than one date with the target prior.
40) If two Bros call dibs on the same pursuit, the bro who has been sterile the longest gets the first shot.
First shot privileges expire after 24 hours or 2 attempts in a night, whichever is first.
41) Bros never give out another bro’s address, phone number, or other contact information without
permission from the bro. If they don’t have the information, then the bro didn’t give it for a reason.
Even in instances of mailing cards and gifts- ask the bro first. Only a bro should be able to subject
himself to crazies knowing where he lives or how to reach him.
42) If a bro wants to do something stupid, first try to talk him out of it. If they insist make sure you and
your other close bros can witness it. Film it if necessary.
43) If a bro receives naked pictures on his cell phone or via email of someone hot, all of his bros are
immediately entitled to viewing the picture as long as there are no bros in the picture. If a bro is in the
picture it is to be deleted immediately.
44) A bro shall not damage another bro’s chances to score. Ever.
45) A bro will make any and all efforts to discreetly provide his bro with a condom when he scores. A bro
should also always support and accommodate his bro’s scoring however he can.
46) Under no circumstance whatsoever shall a bro ever send out a picture of another bro naked or
shirtless. He shouldn’t even have a picture like this, and shouldn’t ever be sending out pics of a bro.
47) Never shall a bro ever send to anyone a photo, video, or information that shows a bro in an
embarrassing or less than faltering way. A bro who does this should be immediately removed from
the circle, or at least severely punished by the bro circle. A bro never should take or have any such
images or documentation. The exception to this rule is an embarrassing photo of a bro where the
photographed bro is willingly or publicly posing. This image may only be sent to other bros and saved
for private distribution among the bros.
48) Maintain your own social circle away from your bro circle. All bros need to have additional social
circles outside of the one you share. This helps diversify your social and hunting grounds, and
ensures that there’s always fresh territory to cover. Bro’s respect all parts of bro identities including
their social circles no matter how unusual. Bros are allowed to make jokes to their bro only about the
various social oddities.
49) Bro’s respect their bro’s lives and individual social circles. Unless the bro specifically invites you, bros
don’t seek out, add or accept another bro’s friends, coworkers, or family on facebook or other social
platforms, and especially don’t text or hang out with them without the bro. Bro rule of thumb- if you
wouldn’t know them without going through the bro, don’t engage them without going through the bro.
Don’t get creepy.
50) When hanging with the bros, phones are off limits for calls and texts from tricks, partners, exes, and
dates. Bro time is sacred.
The Golden bro rule that everyone knows, Bros over hoes. This rule may be seasoned to taste by the
bros themselves. Example; Bros over hoes except at the close. This rule of the bro code is what sets the
male gender apart from the female gender. It is the very essence of the bro code, and embodies the true
awesomeness that is bro love.
This is so great. I need to share with some clueless friends
I don’t know. Rules, in general, are so “straight”. . . and difficult to remember (50 rules. Oy!)
The Gay Code is so much easier:
Everyman for himself
It’s not cluelessness. We’re very aware of what we’re doing, we just don’t care.