After reading Choice Is Good. Yes, No or Maybe? and Love With the Proper Stranger in this week’s Sunday Times (yes, I’m just reading it now), I’m starting to wonder if maybe queers have too many romantic choices with the absence of the type of structure and expectations our straight counterparts have.

No one pushes us to marry because we can’t. There’s no one standing over our shoulders asking When are you two going to have children?. No one is really pushing us to do anything in the romance and family areas, really (besides moving past the phase). Have we become a little lost without any pressure or expectations? It is, after all, more than acceptable to be single in the gay world, but many singles are lonely and unhappy.

I don’t believe there is just one person for us, who we will live happily ever after with. But that doesn’t mean we aren’t going to have some wonderful long-term relationships (and maybe we do up growing old with one of our partners). My view of relationships is far from the heterosexual norm. Still, we all have times in our lives when we want nothing more than to find someone and settle down for a while and I wonder if that’s harder for the queer community than we realize.

I’ve never heard of a queer matchmaker. Has anyone else? Would you ever use one? I’d be more than curious.

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