While objections to labels abound, and with good reason, many people do opt to claim labels for themselves or simply may find it helpful to understand the labels that others are claiming for themselves. The G in GLBTQ clearly stands for gay. While this identifier is claimed by many men who are romantically and sexually attracted to men, some may even eschew this label. Bisexual and queer men may claim other labels within the gay community, even if they personally do not identify as gay. Moreover, within the gay community, there are many more labels that may be used in a number of ways, ranging from personal ads to social groups. Some labels imply social roles, while others are specifically sexual.

Social identifiers in the gay community are about both attitude and appearance. Some of these terms may be used in a derogatory context both in the gay community or outside of it, or may be claimed and embraced. Either way, knowing what these mean can help you navigate your local bar or local Craigslist ads at least on a surface level. Twinks are known for good clothes, perfect hair, and an impeccable tan. Stereotypically, they are young, thin, and pretty. Bears are their polar opposite, being older, hairier and bigger bodied. Within bear culture, you will find cubs, otters, and polar bears. These distinctions can refer to physical size, body hair and build. Many bears date within their own social group. Queens may simply have a bit of a diva attitude or may be active in the drag scene.

While some people may opt to claim the social identifiers discussed, you may find it even more helpful to understand sexual identifiers and labels. The words top, pitcher and power top all imply someone who is dominant in the bedroom, most often in relation to penetrative sex. A power top does not bottom, at all. Bottom, catcher, and power bottom refer to an individual who prefers to be penetrated during sex, and may also imply a more submissive role depending upon the context. Individuals who are more sexually flexible in terms of roles will often identify as versatile or a switch. Knowing where you fit on this continuum can help you avoid sexual incompatibility or embarrassing first date conversations.