Gay, Single and Not 21 Anymore
Aging is a fact of life, but aging in the LGBTQ community, especially when your single may be another matter entirely. While there are certainly serious concerns to worry about, dating and socializing can be more of one than most of us care to admit. In many areas, especially if you don’t live in the big city, gay life revolves around that beloved institution, the gay bar. While this might have worked great when you were young and didn’t really care if you showed up at work hungover the next day, it’s a bit less appropriate when you have a mortgage, aging parents, and two dogs who really don’t like to be left home alone most of the night. While many people pair off as they get older and meet that Mr. Right, maybe you’re newly out of the closet, newly broken up, or just haven’t been that lucky yet. How can you maintain a social life, have fun and still make it to work in the morning?
If you have been single all along, you can probably stop reading right now. You likely have the social life you want, simply because it’s never been significantly changed in one way or the other and has evolved to meet your interests and lifestyle. There is nothing at all wrong with being happily single and living a full life on your own.
More of us, however, are single due to being either newly out or newly broken up. While you might have meandered into your local gay bar and found yourself either ignored or fresh meat, depending on your community, perhaps this is not what you’re looking for at all. You can meet people, find friends and develop relationships within the gay and lesbian community without setting foot in a drag show, drinking shots out of test tubes or otherwise potentially embarrassing yourself in a drunken stupor.
What can you do? Even in smaller cities, you do have many options to meet people outside of the bar subculture. First, become involved in things you love that matter. It does not matter if that is the local animal shelter or the local arts scene. Consider volunteering your time with gay, lesbian and other queer causes. Many of those who volunteer are in a place in their lives that is also incompatible with weekends drinking in the bars. Be open and honest about who you are, whenever you feel safe and comfortable doing so. You might be surprised who you can meet. Moreover, making the most of your life and your time will make for a happy and full life, whether you are alone or not. Once you feel comfortable in your own skin and your own life, if you want to actively pursue finding a relationship, consider on line dating options, social networking sites, and even just putting the word out to friends that you’re looking. Many great relationships have been made by matchmaking friends.
Please post to make people aware!!
CALL TO ACTION! African American LESBIAN RAPED IN RICHMOND CALIFORNIA
http://www.zunainstitute.org
Four men kidnapped and gang-raped a 28 year-old lesbian in Richmond, CA. This is an unspeakable crime and we must send a message that this hate crime can not be tolerated.
Zuna Institute has joined several organizations in support of the peace rally
PEACE RALLY
THE DATE IS SET FOR SUNDAY, JANUARY 11, 2009. THE RALLY WILL BEGIN AT 4PM AT NICHOLL PARK AT 3000 MACDONALD AVENUE IN RICHMOND
**GET THE WORD OUT..FORWARD INFO..COME TO THE MARCH**
HERE’S THE STORY
The four men who allegedly kidnapped and gang-raped a 28-year-old lesbian for almost an hour on December 13, 2008 HAVE BEEN ARRESTED!!!!!!!!!!!
The case is being investigated as a hate crime because of comments the suspects made about the victim’s sexual orientation, according to media reports.
Lieutenant Mark Gagan, public information officer for the Richmond Police Department, declined to tell the Bay Area Reporter what the comments had been.
The reported victim is openly lesbian and had a rainbow sticker on her car, Gagan said.
The December 13 incident started around 9:30 p.m. in the 1500 block of Visalia Avenue in Richmond’s Belding-Woods neighborhood. After getting out of her car, the woman was sexually assaulted and then forced back into her car after the suspects noticed someone approaching, according to police.
She was driven seven blocks to the 1300 block of Burbeck Avenue, where she was repeatedly sexually assaulted near an apartment complex, police reported.
The suspects fled in the woman’s car, leaving her naked. The woman sought help from a nearby resident, who called police, according to media reports.
The woman was taken to a hospital and treated for her injuries, which Gagan told the B.A.R. included a serious injury that resulted from the woman being struck with a blunt object. Her car was recovered the next day in Richmond, police said.
Tina D’Elia, hate violence survivor program director of Community United Against Violence, the San Francisco-based LGBT organization that operates a 24-hour crisis line, said, “The shock of this case I think is impacted by being a public hate crime, a gang rape, and a courageous survivor coming forward. I think that that is both unusual and a sign of real courage.”
PLEASE MAKE DONATIONS TO THE SURVIVOR to help her reestablish her life. She is going to need funds to purchase another car, relocate from her residence, and take time off from work. 100% of the donations will go directly to her.
The Community Violence Solutions and Rape Crisis Center have set up an account for the victim. Please make your donation NOW either by credit card or by check, the information is as follows:
IMPORTANT: You must indicate that you want to dedicate the donations to “Richmond Jane Doe”
Credit Card Donation, please call:
Joanne Douglass at 510-237-0113 at Community Violence Solutions
Donation by check:
Community Violence Solutions
2101 Van Ness St.
San Pablo, Ca 94806
Attn: Mrs. Joanne Douglas
Important: Donors must write “Richmond Jane Doe” on the check in the memo space
If you would like to show your support by sending something other than a Donation(CARDS OR GIFTS) do it via the police department.
Here’s the address:
Richmond Police Department
Attn: Sgt. Brian Dickerson “Richmond’s Jane Doe”
1701 Regatta Blvd.
Richmond, CA 94804
“Never doubt that a small group of committed people can change the world. It’s the only thing that ever has.” –Margaret Mead
I find now that when I go out, it’s like a Youth Club with so many younger people being on the Scene in Glasgow UK now.
I think perhaps it’s time I avoided the Scene and tried some new, more mature type methods of meeting new people.
Sally :)