Could it be the next huge celeb battle since Jen V’s Angelina? Okay, no it probably won’t be. But since the catastrophe that was Cheryl Cole’s move to the US, things are still not calming down in the controversial world of the international business that is the X-Factor.

Personally, I can’t stand the whole circus, it’s like a freak show with a baying crowd of rabid village idiots fawning over mediocre talent or mocking the mentally disabled. At least that’s my take on it, but I haven’t seen much.

But the surrounding controversy and hilarity is what really interests me. They should do away with all the ridicule and humiliation of people who probably need full-time care, and just focus on the drama of the over-primed, over-pumped and over-paid pseudo-stars behaving like Emperor Nero.

Thumbs down to you Simon!

So for those who do not know the whole story (and I only know bits of it), high-trousered and camp-speaking Cowell (maybe he talks like that because his pants are squeezing his nuts too hard?) decided in all his infinite wisdom, that America needed the gloriously beautiful – albeit slightly dialectically challenged – Cheryl Cole to fly over the the USA and introduce the public to a language they’d never heard before (hey dude, is she talkin’ French?)

And as you’d expect, her slightly brash and stronger-than-Tetley-tea accent sent every American reaching for the remote. Not for the caption button, but to switch to some other channel featuring overly-pretty and ridiculously impossible characters.

That just won’t do for the heads of the channel, and it seems that this time Simon couldn’t use his pop hammer of doom to persuade them to reconsider. So she was shipped off, presumably back to her home town where people actually understand her.

But that’s not the end of the story. Recently Tulisa Contostavlos (don’t worry, I don’t know either) took Cheryl’s place on the hit show during auditions (read humiliation extravaganza) for the new series in Manchester England. And it seems that in an effort to get her name on the venomous lips of X-Factor fans everywhere she arrived with a sharp tongue and an overly honest opinion. That’s right, get the audience to hate you by being a bitch, isn’t that the way to make money these days?

You can guess what happens next can’t you? The audience fell for it hook, line and sinker, and to calls of “Bring back Cheryl” Tulisa’s steely facade fell to the floor faster than I would in a college locker room. She allegedly ran from the scene in floods of tears wondering why her snide comments hadn’t made her some kind of lovable Cruella De Ville “You Beasts!”

Aside from that, they need a little more drama don’t they! So lets throw in some additional rumor and speculation from anonymous sources (probably some guy in the press room of a trash mag who wants to feel more important). Apparently young Cruella… sorry, Tulisa, is staying up and having little parties before turning up with a hangover. But then she’s only young, and partying is what these people do best I suppose. They need to be good at something though, right?

So that’s the story so far, I guess there’ll be plenty more to come. Some of it will be blatant BS, and some of it might actually be funny. But while I won’t watch the show, I’ll probably keep up to speed with the surrounding drama and PR stuntage, We all need a little entertainment, it’s a shame the folks at the X-Factor don’t know that… or perhaps they do?