Or, How to Get That Hot Straight Guy: Make Him Your Tai Chi Partner

According to this article (thanks for sending it, Jen!), evidence shows that Tai Chi causes a slow increase in water content in the male body. This increase causes men to “find themselves to be more soft-spoken, less aggressive, more emotional, and lose the desire to have sex” and become “more likely to adopt homosexuality.”

Women too (these two both left their husbands just weeks after starting classes) :

Professional female athletes who participate in these “fire element” movements will lose water content, relating to the elemental analogy of fire evaporating water. These women will become more aggressive, lose breast and hip size, and develop masculine features like body hair and muscle definition.

“No matter what anyone says, the proof is there,” says Master Lu. Uh huh. Okay. Sure.

But just in case, you might want to get a copy of this DVD for everyone you wish was gay. Don’t forget to invite yourself over to “assist” with the difficult movements.